Even the Lies are True by Harry Morris

Author:Harry Morris
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781845026240
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
Published: 2012-12-28T16:00:00+00:00

Trailer Bike

. . .

One day while out on motorcycle patrol, I passed a garden centre advertising a closing-down sale!

During my lunch break, I went in and it was Christmas for me.

Everything you’ll ever want at ridiculously reduced prices – I just had to have some of this.

‘I’ll take six bags of that and four bags of this and four of your rowan trees. Oh! And give me four of your wild-bird houses and three packets of birdseed. Is that grass seed and lawn feed? I’ll take some of them and two tins of fencing preservative paint and a hard garden brush and bucket!’

They even had that new Whyte and Mackay grass seed. You just scatter it over your lawn and it comes up half-cut!!

Anyway, after the assistant had totalled up the cost and I had paid for it all, I asked him, ‘What time do you close and I’ll come back and collect my goods later?’

‘Sorry, mate!’ he replied. ‘We’re closing now. You’ll have to take it all with you!’

Arrghh! Shock horror!

Out I went to my police motorcycle and loaded the six bags of compost across the back pannier boxes, grass seed and lawn food in the pannier, bird food and boxes in the other pannier, paint tins balanced on top of both panniers, held by the weight of the compost bags, potting compost across the petrol tank, and I carried the trees and brush in one hand!

Down the road I went on my bike, camouflaged like a landscaped garden with my bargains.

Just as I was turning into the motorcycle shed, I was passed by my superintendent in his car, who almost crashed as he spun his neck around like Linda Blair from The Exorcist for a look!

Later, I was reprimanded for my improper behaviour.

Next day I received a memo from him, instructing me to attend the motorcycle garage to have a trailer fitted to my bike, just in case I came across another closing-down sale.

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